Can I beat porn addiction?
The decision to stop watching porn compulsively or overcome sex addiction is basically a choice. But before you can make that choice you have to root out any faulty thinking patterns and beliefs that might be blocking your ability to recognise it as a choice.
The short answer is yes you definitely can beat sex and porn addiction and as promised, I’m going to share with you how the CHOICE Recovery Model and Pivotal Recovery can help you do that.
In the last blog I was explaining how CHOICE was more than just an acrostic to remember the 6 steps of recovery, but also a reminder that all of us have a right to choose the life we want to lead. Porn addiction and sex addiction can rob us of choice because addictions make us behave in ways we don’t want to. Often in ways that stop us reaching our goals in life, damage our self-esteem and hurt the people we love and care about.
How to beat sex addiction
Step 1 – Challenge core beliefs
So, we come to our first C of CHOICE – Challenge core beliefs. There are many different beliefs that can block recovery, but broadly speaking they all fall under the following 3 headings – I don’t need to change, I don’t want to change or I can’t change.
- I don’t need to change – is sex addiction really a problem? Is porn addiction a real problem? If you don’t think you need to change, these might be questions you’re struggling with. Maybe you’re not sure if there really is anything wrong with the way you’re living your life. Maybe you feel you’re still in control and this is not a compulsion. Frankly, you wouldn’t be reading this if that was 100% true, but maybe you need to look at bit deeper. One of the exercises you’ll find in Pivotal is one that helps you look at the real cost of your behaviour and consider whether you want to continue or not.
- I don’t want to change – this is often said by people who know that they probably should change, but they don’t have the motivation to do it. Perhaps you think the cost of change outweighs the benefit. Maybe you think it will be too difficult, or you’ll lose a part of you that’s important. Or you’re just not ready to give up the buzz. We explore this in a number of different ways on the Pivotal course, one of which is to create a vision for the future – watch out for our next blog for more on this.
- I can’t change – unfortunately shame and sex addiction often go hand in hand and at the root of ‘I can’t change’ you’ll usually find shame. Often someone who doesn’t believe they can overcome porn addiction also struggles with low self-esteem. Maybe you feel worthless and useless and incapable of change – perhaps because you’ve tried and failed so many times before. But this is simply untrue – like many before you, you can change.
The first step in overcoming faulty core beliefs is to recognise that they are ‘faulty’. The podcasts and exercises in Pivotal Recovery will help you understand where these beliefs come from and give you practical strategies for overcoming them. One of the best ways to increase motivation is to consider what a different lifestyle might look like – and that’s the topic of our next blog.
For an instant shot of motivation – look also at our testimonials page.